I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
