I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
