dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
