I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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