Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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