Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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