"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
