Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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