She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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