How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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