i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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