Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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