Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
did i walk over a car last night?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
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If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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