I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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