it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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