Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
