Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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