I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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