My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
