Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
