YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
being pregnant is like rehab
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
