just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
