i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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