I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
