well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I had to cum in my sink.
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