***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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