SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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