officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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