is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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