and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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