The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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