Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
