The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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