I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
