i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have surprise drugs for everyone
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
