Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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