I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
