How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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