she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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