About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
