he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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