I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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