Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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