i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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