I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
