pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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