I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize