fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize