Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
seriously i just wanna be friends
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There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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