Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
