so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
