the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
