i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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