Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize