Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
