nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
