spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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