need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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