i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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