their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am naked and annoyed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
