Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
