apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
