oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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