Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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