I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
