sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
