im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Im part way to drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
