He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
